Remember when I said I want to make this game and only 2 things can happen that stops me from it? First if I die, but yes, I'm still alive as I'm writing this post. The other thing I didn't want to talk about is out of the bag. So I feel I can afford a paragraph or two on the subject.
I had a beautiful, wonderful girlfriend I built a relationship with. There were really high highs and really deep lows. A couple of months ago she left me. I felt desperate and destroyed. Partly that's why I decided to start this game project so I can give busy work to my mind and I might not think about her all the time and guide my dormant energies instead of self destructing by horrible thought towards something productive. The second option that could stop this project from happening is that if she comes back to me. A girlfriend needs a lot of attention and care, even when you are not together. And I was planning to marry her. I was building something, I poured serious energy to repair our broken relationship, but the time has come and her answer was no.
This means I no longer have her, I no longer have to be ready for anything. I'm free. But in a bad way. I'm free but I didn't want to be free. If she were to come back I would have sacrificed anything and everything for her. And doing a project like this takes up a lot of time. And even though I wanted to be a video game developer my whole life and it was my childhood dream, I was willing to put it all to the side and concentrate on her and our relationship 'till the end of my life. But life is not always as you plan it.
So, I'm on my journey to deal with the loss and try to regenerate after the whole breakup thing. I'm dying a little inside every time I think of her. I miss her so much. But after I'm done mourning our relationship I'll do my best to keep this project going. Updates won't be as frequent as they were in the first weeks, but I think that's acceptable, considering I'm a one man team who wants to make a game beside a day job.
Farewell, Vv...
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